How do you respond to conflict? There are three different ways we respond to conflict. In the work we do at Crossroads Resolutions, we use something called a Slippery Slope. So, imagine a half-circle, a slipper slope and three sections. To the left are escape responses, to the right, attack responses and in the middle, peace-making.
Escape Responses including denial, flight, suicide. Some people lean towards denying that there is an issue in the first place. Others tend to run and hide. Sadly, when someone feels there is no hope in resolving a conflict, they may seek to escape the situation through suicide.
Attack Responses include assault, litigation, murder. Some people will try to attack their opponent verbally, through physical violence or by trying to damage a person financially or professionally. Litigation is an all-too common response to conflict. And, sadly, some people get angry enough to kill.
As a peace maker, we respond by overlooking, reconciliation, negotiation, mediation, arbitration and accountability. If the issue is small enough, consider overlooking the offense, which is a form of forgiveness. If you simply can’t overlook the offense, seek to reconcile through confession, loving correction, and forgiveness. Sometimes reconciliation can resolve the relational issue but material issues still need to be dealt with. Negotiation comes into play here through a cooperative bargaining process. If a settlement cannot be reached, consider mediation in which one or two outside, objective people meet to explore possible solutions. Arbitration happens when you and your opponent can’t seem to reach a voluntary agreement. Keep in mind though that arbitration is legally binding. Finally, we, especially as Christians, are called to hold one another accountable.
Where are you on the Slippery Slope?
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Peter Quinn